I'm a fan of vampire films and TV programmes. Recently, I got to thinking about how all vampires portrayed on TV seem to have a fine set of teeth. I can't really remember seeing any vampires who had lots of teeth missing.
Following on from this, I wondered whether vampires actively select people who have had the benefit of orthodonistry when deciding who to sire? If so, that feels slightly discriminatory. After all, it tends to be middle class well off parents who treat their kids to the joys of braces.
The other question that I've been pondering is the process by which those oversized fangs emerge. Do you need to have your existing canines and then they extend once the corpse rises from the grave? Or are those vampire canines like a third set of teeth? Imagine the teething pains!
I like the thought of a vampire crawling up through the soil, only to discover that a lifetime's over indulgence of sugary products means that the are denied their vampire fangs. And then they'd have to order a custom-made set of falsies to enable them to bite their victims.
In fact, I'm sure there's good potential for a comedy sketch. Or alternatively, it would have made for a good comic turn in a Buffy episode!
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